Ana and the Stairs

Last night I was fortunate to receive a ’spontaneous movie invite’ from Nobis, my current leading man. The evening turned out to be a most delectable smorgasboard of social activity: Not only did we take in The Village, but we also ended up crashing Ana’s little soirée at Fluid, where I purred in the afterglow of tuna sushi rolls and a Soho Lychee Martini.

Ana herself was in the midst of copious martini consumption. As a result, for the remainder of the evening, Nobis and I were highly entertained by a louder, more hysterically disjointed version of Ana’s typically dramatic persona. We gave Ana centre stage, making sure to hang back a few paces on the sidewalk while she trotted ahead of us at a manic pace, gesticulating and singing Japanese commercial jingles.

One of the highlights of the evening occurred back at Ana’s pad, otherwise known as ‘the house so infamously swiped from under Knull’s nose’ (another eventful tale unto itself.) We (Ana, Ana’s roomate Forrest, Nobis, and I) had just returned from a late-night cookie dough ice cream run, and Ana made a quick trip to her 3rd-floor bedroom.

Ana (walking back into the kitchen, where the rest of us were lounging): “You know, I never realized how many stairs I have.”

Forrest (humoring her): “How many stairs do you have?”

“Ummm… I don’t know.”

I thought of the queue of toy Hello Kitties lining the right-hand side of her staircase, and decided that perhaps we could figure this out by process of elimination.

“Well,” I reasoned, “How many Hello Kitties do you have?”

“I don’t know… WAIT! I’ll go check!”

Ana scampered out of the room. Forrest, Nobis and I doubled over in silent laughter. She was completely oblivious to our mirth. Ana returned to the kitchen, breathless.

“SIX! I have six Hello Kitties!”

“So… how many stairs to you have?”

Ana paused.

“I DON’T KNOW!” She wailed.

Forrest (sarcastically): “Why don’t you go check.”

For the second time, Ana zipped down the hallway, feet thumping on the hardwood floor. The rest of us scoffed. A moment later, Ana skidded into the kitchen.

“I have thirteen stairs. That’s a really unlucky number!”

Ana was consoled only after we managed to convince her that the small army of Hello Kitties on her stairs, led by her plush Psyduck, would ward off any invasions by evil demons.